Mighty Forces

Crazy Freeper quote of the day:

"You sort of have to be an evolutionite to be an atheist and evolution has basically been disproven. In fact, evolution should have been given up on decades ago after the fruit fly experiments but the media was able to keep the lid on things like that in those days. In our present internet age, lids are not possible."

The truth will set you free!

A commenter on Balloon Juice, about rightwing screecher Michelle Malkin's contention that the Democrats used 12-year-old Graeme Frost as a political prop in the debate over the SCHIP children's health insurance program:

It's a shame Graeme Frost didn't jump out the window of a burning skyscraper. Malkin would be posting pictures of that every day.

Not that it would be a political prop, of course.

Why does anyone invite Ann Coulter on their TV show? Why does anyone write a single word about her? The only way to kill her is to starve her of attention. Why aren't we doing that?

And yes, I realize this post is about her. I hope it's my last.

With Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize, and J.K. Rowling announcing that Dumbledore was gay, it's been quite a week for watching right-wingers' heads explode.

This is not without its pleasures.

So let's tally it up. Right wingers, by their own (sometimes indignant) admission, are officially against:

-Gold Star mothers of veterans killed in action
-Health care for veterans
-Protecting the environment
-Giving poor sick kids health insurance

and as of this week, we can add

-the Nobel Peace Prize (even though Henry Kissinger [seriously] won it), and
-children's literature.

My initial thought was, what are they going to say they hate next - cute puppies? But then I remembered that Ellen Degeneres is a selfish hedonist lesbian. So maybe now they hate puppies too. Who can say? Maybe we should ask Bill Kristol.

"I absolutely despise when people comment on the way people look, yet, I am going to ask about Mickey Obama. Does she not dress like a tart or what? Who dresses that woman? Whores or us."

Funny on so many levels. How do these people manage to reproduce?

If you live in Wisconsin, please please please vote tomorrow.

"I don't want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there's evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels."

-Bill O'Reilly on his radio show yesterday, talking about Michelle Obama's "proud" comments

One question that I often wonder about: is there anything - anything - that people like O'Reilly could say that would have any consequences? Others, from Don Imus to Michael "Weiner" Savage, have felt at least some consequences for outrageous comments. But people like O'Reilly and Coulter seem to feed on these situations, like vampires bathing in the blood of virgins.

Great quote from William K. Wolfram of WorldGolf.com:

For Fox News and O'Reilly, however, this type of inflammatory, racist language is something they do embrace. And obviously, so do a majority of their viewers and listeners. Because in the end, O'Reilly and Fox News won't get so much as a slap on the hand and won`t consider apologizing. Kelly Tilghman, making a stupid joke about a man she knows, gets a suspension and a huge speed bump for her career. Bill O'Reilly makes a non-joke about a lynching party forming to get the wife of a prominent politician, just adds to his legend as someone who "speaks for the people," which apparently is the Fox News code for "unrepentant racist."

UPDATE: For those crapweasels out there who don't think O'Reilly's comment was racist, I offer this story from the much-missed Molly Ivins:

I have a correspondent named Irwin Wingo in Weatherford, Texas. Irwin and some of the leading men of the town are in the habit of meeting about 10 every morning at the Chat'n'Chew Cafe to drink coffee and discuss the state of the world. One of their members is a dittohead, a Limbaugh listener. He came in one day, plopped himself down, and said, "I think Rush is right. Racism in this country is dead. I don't know what the niggers will find to gripe about now."

UPDATE II: Here are some choice words from the Idiot Son, during his Black History Month comments:

"The era of rampant lynching is a shameful chapter in American history. The noose is not a symbol of prairie justice, but of gross injustice. Displaying one is not a harmless prank. And lynching is not a word to be mentioned in jest. As a civil society, we must understand that noose displays and lynching jokes are deeply offensive. They are wrong. And they have no place in America today."

UPDATE III: I promise I'll stop at some point. :-) Here are some great lines from Clerks II.

Randal: Since when did porch monkey become a racial slur?
Dante: When ignorant racists started saying it a hundred years ago!
Randal: Oh, bullshit! My grandmother used to call me a porch monkey all the time when I was a kid because I'd sit on the porch and stare at my neighbors!
Dante: Despite the fact that your grandmother used it as a term of endearment for you, it's still a racial slur! It'd be like your grandmother calling you a little kike!
Randal: Oh, it is not. My grandmother had the utmost respect for the Jewish community. When I was a kid she told me to always treat the Jewish kids well, or they'd put the sheeny curse on me.

"It may have been a terrorist's dog...After the hell these people went through in Felujah..I'd be whipping puppies of a cliff too."

-mouth-breathing Freeper, commenting on YouTube video of Marine throwing a puppy off a cliff.

"Barack is benefiting from slavery. If it weren't for slavery, the black population of the U.S. would be about as big as the Eskimo population, and he'd have lost to Hillary a long time ago."

-Freeper mouthbreather racist scum, commenting on Barack Obama's race speech today

I don't hate America. But why are there so many loathsome people living here?

UPDATE: Here's another classic, from the same thread:

"I am not happy with McCain but I will hold my nose and vote for him. At least with McCain, you get a man that endured 5.5 years of confinement and torture as a POW for a country he fought for. With Hillary you get an socialist ex-hippie that has spent her life trying to destroy others and Obama a do nothing race baiter that sympathizes with terrorists, will coddle our enemies, will not wear a U.S. flag on his lapel, will not put his hand over his heart and pledge allegiance to our flag during the national anthem and attends a church for 20 years where his friend, mentor and spiritual adviser to his campaign states - God Da*n America. I will take McCain."

We are so fucking dumb in this country, I'm surprised we can dress ourselves. This nation needs a LifeAlert pendant. We've fallen, and we like it down here.

There was a time, not that long ago, where I would happily wade into the muck with assorted crapweasels and ignoramuses and try my best to puncture their weird and hurtful worldviews. Sometimes I really kicked ass, in my opinion. (Much of my best work, like wallowing around with Mrs. du Toit, has gone down the internet memory hole.)

But these days, like with a lot of things, I just don't have the stomach for it. I'm worn out, and the tide of stupid, hateful stuff has just gotten too overwhelming. I'm beginning to sympathize with Ellen Ripley - let's just nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

U.S. Rep. Geoff Davis, a Hebron Republican, compared Obama and his message for change similar to a "snake oil salesman" [at a Northern Kentucky Lincoln Day dinner].

He said in his remarks at the GOP dinner that he also recently participated in a "highly classified, national security simulation" with Obama.

"I'm going to tell you something: That boy's finger does not need to be on the button," Davis said. "He could not make a decision in that simulation that related to a nuclear threat to this country."

Why doesn't Geoff Davis (great name, BTW) just call him a nigger and get it over with?

The thing is, this is minor compared to what will be flying around if Obama should become the Democratic nominee.

Someone kill me now. Please.

UPDATE: Some priceless crapweasel reactions:

"Here's another hint: If you want to get over racism, QUIT THE FUCK TALKING ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME."
-"Emperor Misha"

"By the way, I am not a racist. I don't give a fuck who believes me or not, but I KNOW I'm not. ... I am a white, heterosexual Christian male, though. So What am I, dog shit? I have a culture and a history, too. For some reason mine isn't as important as everyone else's."
-Rottweiler commenter "patriot"

"Boy is also an exclamation - 'Boy, it sure is hot out here today.' Boy howdy is also used on occasion. The person being addressed is not being called a boy."
-Rottweiler commenter "NevadaDailySteve"

"'That boy' is common southern-speak to refer to another man, and there is nothing racist about it. I am SO SICK of every goddamn word coming out of people's mouths being analyzed to decide if black folks can get offended about it. I was fairly color-blind until this 'discussion about race' started. Now I am beginning to believe that I don't like 'them' so much- they sure don't seem to like 'us'."
-Right Wing Nuthouse (!) commenter

I could go on and on. But you get the point.

Apparently Ben Stein's brain-dead "documentary" Expelled used John Lennon's "Imagine" without permission (and, I've read, played it over footage of Nazi death camps, because they are trying to link evolution with Hitler and the Holocaust). I'm hoping this has repercussions for Ben. The whole thing is anti-science and reprehensible, but the Nazi stuff is just evil.

But hey, the people who don't hate us just think we're stupid - this movie is a great example. Here's to giving the rest of the world a little less proof in the future.

Q: How did life begin on Earth?

SCIENTISTS: We don't know. But we're looking into it.

CREATIONISTS: God did it.

Pick a side, people. It's not difficult.

Fun fact: The Scopes Trial was more than 80 years ago.

"Rev. Wright was a Marine and then spent his entire life trying to make things better for people. He can say whatever the fuck he wants. And he sure as hell didn't send the economy into the shitter while vilifying half the country and sending 4,000 people to their deaths while presiding over a torture regime. Some perspective, please."

Amen, brother.

"When we just saw that man, I think it was Mr. Myers [i.e. biologist P.Z. Myers], talking about how great scientists were, I was thinking to myself the last time any of my relatives saw scientists telling them what to do they were telling them to go to the showers to get gassed ... that was horrifying beyond words, and that's where science -- in my opinion, this is just an opinion -- that's where science leads you."

-Ben Stein, in an interview with Trinity Broadcasting Network

The thing is, Stein knows better. He knows better. And that's what gets me so angry.

I'm just so tired of putting up with this nonsense. Terri Schiavo was just napping. The earth is 4,000 years old. Evolution is a conspiracy. Science is faith. HIV does not cause AIDS. Global warming is a conspiracy. Anyone who's ever read a book not on Oprah's list is an elitist. Racism doesn't exist. We didn't invade Iraq. We found WMDs in Iraq. George W. Bush is a genius. Gay marriage will destroy the family. Michael Moore has blood on his hands. Barack Obama is a Muslim. Barack Obama is a Marxist. Liberals are fascists.

What exactly is wrong with us? Why are we like this? I honestly would like the answer.

UPDATE: Here's a puppet with some thoughts on Ben Stein.

I was chatting online with my wise and funny friend Jason this morning, and I told him that Bill O'Reilly said that we never invaded Iraq.

"Maybe Iraq fell on our army while taking a shower," he said.

But for the life of me I can't understand how Barack Obama can be a radical black separatist Christian, a Muslim terrorist, and a Marxist, all at the same time.

Someone explain it to me....

I can't believe we're still debating this. But in response to his sneering, hyperbolic column, I felt the need to trod these well-worn paths one more time. Here's what I wrote to Rick:

Mr. Santorum:

You hit the nail on the head when you said that (civil) marriage is "a license granted by the government conferring certain governmental benefits." It's a shame that civil marriage and the religious sacrament of marriage share a name, because they really shouldn't. Civil marriage should not be subject to a religious test. For example, Catholics don't sanctify divorced people getting married again. If the majority of the population was Catholic, would it be OK to codify in law that divorced people couldn't remarry? No.

I don't support any church being required to marry anyone it doesn't want to. But I also don't support churches telling the state who they should be able to marry. That's what the separation of church and state (something I believe strengthens religion) is all about.

Best,
Adam.