My sister's dear friend Mark was drafted by the St. Louis Rams today. I'm sure his wife, Shelagh, and my sister are already on the Internet looking for places to shop in Missouri.

Congratulations, Mark!

I just applied for an HR job at the FBI. How's that for random?

Happy Birthday to me. I say this every year, but it HAS to be true this year: 29 will be better than 28. 29 is my year to get shit figured out and get my life on track.

I am 29. I have no job. I live in my parents' basement. I have no significant other. I have approximately $168,000 in debt and no assets to offset it.

“Fortune favors the bold.” – Virgil, The Aenid

“What, then, are the special ways of women? I have found in seeking to answer this question a bottomless well of possibility.” – Shekhinah Mountainwater

“I do not plan to change the world in a day, but perhaps in a lifetime, day by day.” - from The Vagina Monologues

“It’s time and sentimentality that cloud the judgment.” – from Nip/Tuck

“War is young men dying and old men talking.” – from Troy

“From the child comes forth the soldier.” - from a twisted movie I saw recently but can't remember the title of

“Everything is art,” he replied. “No matter the shape, size, color or age.” - from another movie I can't remember the title of

from The Emperor’s Club:
“The end depends upon the beginning.”
“How will history remember you?”
"Conquest without contribution is meaningless."

from November
“They’re almost too arty for their own good.” - speaking of her photographs
“It’s your job as an artist to decide what goes in the frame and what stays out.” - on asserting something by excluding it

That was my attempt at variation on a theme.

Words of fire

their potency,
more power than
poison possesses

no need for blazing
when seeds of hate can simply
smolder
lurking, lighting fires

brewing up the seething smoke
that chokes the life from hope

***

words of fire

can smolder for years,
hidden
or forgotten

until they are found again
stumbled upon

ignited,

unleashed into flames of fury

***

words on fire
blaze
unapologetic

***

words afire
burn hundreds of years
losing no power
nor brightness

What does your iPod say about you?

It sounds like a dissertation topic. Or the key piece of evidence in a tv crime show.

But seriously, can we learn stuff about a person by shuffling through their cd’s? It seems plausible. Right?

I’ve been obsessed with collecting music for as far back as I can remember. But, when I got an iPod last year for my birthday, the obsession exploded. Finding a new sound or artist or song or genre is like a feast for my ears. It’s like traveling, reading a book, having a conversation, seeing a piece of art and watching a movie, all rolled into one. Old stuff, new stuff, new takes on old stuff, stuff people have forgotten, stuff people can’t forget. All of it. I love it.

Songs in wrapped in garbage bags behind dumpsters in old dark alleys. Songs floating around in fields with summertime dandelion fuzz. Songs that flood. Songs that sizzle. Songs that liberate, intoxicate, infuriate… give me all of them! I want them all!

So far my music library has reached 9,000 songs. I’ve burned every cd I own, swiped some from friends, copied cds from my siblings – anywhere I can find stuff, I try to capture it. A few months ago my laptop ran out of space and I went out and got an external hard drive to store music on. It’s a good thing I’m out of money now, because I’d probably spend a fortune on iTunes.com.

My iPod no longer holds everything, but here are a few of the artists I’m listening to right now…

A: Astrud Gilberto; Ani DiFranco

B: Bush; Ben Harper; Bela Fleck; Bathtub Mary; Ben Folds

C: Coldplay; Chopin; Candlebox; Creed

D: Dishwalla; Dr. John

E: Eva Cassidy; Etta James; Erin McKeown; Elvis Costello; Enya

F: Frank Sinatra; Fabolous

G: Guster; Godsmack

H: Hugh Masakela; Heather Headley

I: Incubus; Ismael Lo; Israel Kamamawiwo’ole

J: Ja Rule; James Taylor; Jars of Clay; Jeb Loy Nichols; Jeff Tweedy; Joe Cocker

K: Keb Mo; Kenny Wayne Shepard

L: Lauryn Hill; Lenny Kravitz; Les Nubians; Loudon Wainwright; Ludacris

M: Macy Gray; Mandoza; Mario Frangoulis; Mason Jennings; Mikanic; Montgomery Gentry

N: Nappy Roots; Nas; Natalie Cole; Nick Drake

O: Ozomatli; Oi Va Voi; Ottmar Liebert

P: Parliament; Petey Pablo; Prince

Q: Queen

R: Rascall Flatts; Reel Big Fish; Rufus Wainwright; Rurouni Kenshin

S: Shemika Copeland; Sister Hazel; Seymour Glass; Shane Martin; Shannon Curfman

T: Thelonious Monk; Tim McGraw; TI; Tracy Chapman, Tupac

U: U2

V: Van Morrison; Vusi Mahlasela

W: Wallflowers; Wyclef Jean; Wynonna

X: Xhibit

Y: Yanni; Yoyo Ma; Youngblood Brass Band

Z: Ziggy Marley

What are you listening to?

A friend forwarded a great little Carrie Bradshaw quote the other day:

"...maybe it's time to be clear about who I am. I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous... Inconvenient... Consuming... Can't-live-without-each-other LOVE."

It made me wonder how many men and women are out there looking for this kind of love. . . and whether it actually exists. Does searching for it set people up for disappointment? After all, even glass slippers are going to need some Windex. Or at the very least, JetDry.

Right?

Or am I being too cynical?

All is Lost
I prayed for grace,
but it didn’t come

I prayed for faith,
and it didn’t come

I prayed for hope
and realized
all is lost.

***

Sounds Crashing
And somewhere in the middle
it all turned to mud.
The paint melted off the walls
and we were left
just standing there
wondering what to do.

***

Distraction
The world is a
distraction
from
what I was
meant to do

***

Neuro-Paralysis
It is exhausting -
living in a state of
unending mental and emotional
paralysis.

I'm often so afraid of
doing the wrong thing,
that I do nothing at all.