Yesterday, I came to a realization that I bought three pairs of white pants over the summer. The only person that has ever needed three pairs of white pants is Don Johnson. What was I thinking?
Just got home from catching a totally tight band down in Hell's Kitchen. They were so tight in fact that I BOUGHT the cd (which, if you know me, you know I ONLY do for bands whom I totally respect.)
Unfortunately, said cd doesn't come close to their live show. It's okay though because I met three hot guys and got a date for next week out of the deal.
sweet.
On my last day in London this summer, I came across an English translation of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, in a little bookshop near Bloomsbury Square (another entire story in itself). It is a book of philosophical writings that I have been wanting to read since I first came across mention of it during my Novels class in high school. (Argh, that’s a long time ago I realize. I confess I’m a bit of a procrastinator, but what I lack in speed I try to make up for in deliberateness.)
Anyway, I was thinking about that book tonight, knowing that I had finished reading it but hadn’t posted anything on it, and decided to put off my Finance homework to finally make that post.
SIDENOTE:
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus was the emperor of Rome from 161-180 A.D. Out of curiosity, I asked Jeeves about him tonight and learned that he inherited the throne, once-removed, from Emperor Hadrian. This intrigued me further and brought a piece of my summer abroad full circle. You see, about mid-June I stood on Hadrian’s Wall in northern England. It is a 75 mile stone wall built around 122 A.D. (Yes, that makes it almost 2,000 years old. Damn they knew how to build some quality stuff.) It’s 15 feet high, about 6 feet wide, and was anchored by several fortresses.
Hadrian ordered its construction to mark the border of the Roman Empire and “keep the barbarians out.” (Those barbarians just happen to be my Celtic warrior ancestors in Ireland.)
Below is a shot of said wall. You may have also seen it in the movie Robin Hood. (One of my all-time favorite flicks.)
About two days before visiting Hadrian’s Wall, I had come across a bust of Lucius Versus in the National Gallery in Edinburgh, Scotland. The plate on which indicated that Lucius was Marcus’ weak twin brother and co-emperor. Tonight, I learned that Lucius was co-emperor only between 161 and 169 A.D., the year of his death.
Meditations is a collection of journal entries Marcus Aurelius wrote throughout his life to remind himself of the right way to live. Apparently, they were often written at night in his tent on the battlefield during wars he led to defend the borders of the Roman Empire, the most powerful empire of his time.
I am intrigued by his thoughts and the spiritual conflicts faced by leaders throughout history. As M. Forstater states in his introduction to Meditations, “As emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius was the most powerful man in the world. Yet his personal and professional life was dominated by a desire for virtue, justice, and peace, not money, possessions, power, or fame” (9).
Albeit a long entry, below are my favorite excerpts from the first chapter of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, Living in the World. . .
[T]he time that is past is gone forever. No one can lose the past or the future, for if they don’t belong to you, how can they be taken from you?
[T]he person that lives the longest life and the one who lives the shortest lose exactly the same thing.
Gaze in wonder at the ever-circling stars, as if you were floating among them; and consider the alterations of the elements, constantly changing one into another. Thinking such thoughts you wash away the dust of life on earth.
[A]ll of present time is but a pinpoint in eternity.
Discard everything except these few truths: we can live only in the present moment, in this brief now; all the rest of our life is dead and buried or shrouded in uncertainty. Short is the life we lead, and small our patch of earth.
When you are disturbed by events and lose your serenity, quickly return to yourself and don’t stay upset any longer than the experience lasts; for you’ll have more mastery over your inner harmony by continually returning to it.
[L]ife is warfare
[P]hilosophy means keeping that vital spark within you free from damage and degradation, using it to transcend pain and pleasure, doing everything with a purpose, avoiding lies and hypocrisy, not relying on another person’s actions or failings. To accept everything that comes, and everything that is given, as coming from that same spiritual source.
No one can impose on me what is degrading.
Taking Aim: Are you distracted by the things of the world? Give yourself some quiet time to discover something new, and learn how to stop this restlessness. And beware that you don’t fall into another kind of error: the folly of those who wear out their lives in ceaseless business, but have no aim on which their every action or thought is focused.
Maintain your contentment and tranquility. . .
Your efforts fall short of your abilities
It’s also necessary to take rest.
[S]uch people, when they have a strong affection for something, choose not to eat or sleep but rather to perfect the things they care for.
Accept prosperity without pride, and always be ready to let it go.
Meeting Challenges: Just because you find something difficult to do, don’t think that it’s humanly impossible. If something is humanly possible and appropriate, believe that it can also be attained by you.
You’re behavior in all spheres of life should be like this: let’s overlook many things in those who are our fellow contestants. For it’s in our power to avoid them, and to have no suspicion or ill will.
Reflect also on what qualities nature has given us to counter every vile act. For she has given us compassion as an antidote to brutality...
Shouldn’t you be content that you have done the right thing, and not feel you have to be paid for it? It’s as if your eyes demanded a fee for seeing. . . . [We are] created by Nature to act benevolently, and when we have done something helpful or in some way conducive to the common interest, we have acted in harmony with our own inherent makeup, and also come into our own.
Then you must teach them and show them rather than get so indignant.
Social Unity: Since you are an integral part of a social system, let every act of yours contribute to the harmonization of social life. Any action that is not related directly or remotely to this social aim disturbs your life, and destroys your unity.
Tolerance: People were created for the sake of one another. Either teach them or bear with them.
Life and Destiny: Adapt yourself to the life you have been given; and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you.
Nothing should be done without a purpose.
Talking and Being: Stop talking about what the good person should be, and just be that person.
The body ought to be fit and composed, not agitated either in motion or in rest. We should require that the whole body exhibit the mind, as the face does when it maintains an expression of intelligence and symmetry. And all these must be maintained without posing.
You need to be prepared for firm decisions and action, without losing gentleness toward those who obstruct or abuse you. It’s as great a weakness to be angry with them as it is to abandon your plan of action and give up through fear. These are both like deserting soldiers: the one who panics, as well as one alienated from his natural brothers and friends.
A person’s character immediately shines in the eyes, just as one who loves reads everything in the gaze of the beloved.
She stepped into the palace – a temple of grandeur that made men gods. This was a place raw and wild, where life and death collide in bloody battles.
It was a land where she was to become Queen, where she would rule, with a benevolent hand, the huddled masses. She was not of the people, but they would grow to love her, respect her, protect her.
Her rule would bring peace to a land that had never known it. At last, brutal Darwinism would give way to harmony, community.
She imposed not on them the pretentious traditions of Western civility, but encouraged their own customs and bred a pride in honoring their own heritage.
Random quotes from this week. . .
“Here, you can only dominate your own little fiefdom.” – Adam L.
“I’m not punting” – P. Azoulay, on giving up and going the other direction.
“I sold out.” – Craig F.
“Next week, we’ll focus on the art of cannibalization and managing innovation.” – P. Azoulay
“I love it when you interrupt my dreams. There, I can hear you, hold you, be with you.” – me
This week, I:
- Missed seeing the Dalai Llama and Dave Matthews in Central Park (No, they weren't together.)
- Missed a talk and possible book signing by Joe Stiglitz (yes, the Nobel Prize winner)
- Missed a free salsa and merengue lesson at Happy Hour
- Missed seeing the Indian Prime Minister speak on campus
- Had 3 dreams about you, and
- almost got the dishes done.
This week, I learned you are never supposed to buy an elephant whose trunk is pointing down.
Interesting.
You look horribly bored -
like the subject grates on you,
an acid eating away
at your patience, your sanity.
I picture your thoughts,
a mixture of heavy metal lyrics
and excerpts of Epictetus -
Dreams of the perfect bowl
and an empty beach,
perhaps at night
with me, a blanket, and a fire.
"I want to be
someone's country love song,"
she said quietly.
In the dim light of dawn
her faint reflection in the mirror
looked sad.
The thin shell of
a formerly vibrant woman -
the pink of life
drained from her cheeks.
The bells in the church tower
chimed the hour,
reminding the faroff hills
of the existence of a world
beyond isolation.
Today, I let a crazy French guy cut my hair off. Ask me tomorrow how I feel about that decision/whim.
In the past five days, there was an armed robbery at my bank, the bomb squad cleared a suitcase of explosives from the main gates of campus, two guys were robbed and stabbed to death by random assailants in my subway stop, and a sophomore honor student was fatally shot in the back about a block from my school.
I find it all extremely unsettling.
My favorite lunch lady at TC passed away recently. She was the sweetest lady I think God may have ever put on the planet. In this city, with all its cynical cold impersonal occupants, she always had a smile.
At an institution where the words "Customer Service" are non-existent, she was a shining example of what a fantastic difference one personable person can make on a culture. I will miss her dearly and how she called everyone "Hun".
Hun, if I could, I'd look after that grandson you were so proud of. May God rest your soul and keep a watchful eye on that little boy. I know he will always remember you.
Only 15 emails today.
(If you could see me, you'd know I am clapping.)
Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes, I forget this.
I don't know really know what the phrase "Third time's a charm" means other than after two failed attempts you're statistically more likely to achieve what you're trying to accomplish. But, yesterday, after failed attempts at landing jobs with two education economists in the last two months, the third time indeed became a charm.
Through those two guys, I was trying to get a foot in the door with the researcher I desperately want to publish with - a world guru in the subject.
Well, yesterday I landed a position directly with him! (sigh of relief) Ironically, he basically hired me as the boss of the dude I lost the first position to. What are the odds?
I am a marionette of the cosmos.
There's a line in one of my favorite Ziggy Marley tunes that I think may be directly related to my Email Inbox. The line goes something like, "If you don't deal with it, it keeps killing you little by little."
It isn't even 5pm yet, and I have 112 unread emails in my Outlook Inbox. How is that even possible?! It's ridiculous. My life is becoming a case study for Restructuring class. It runs completely counter to my desire to live a minimalist existence.
Perhaps Happy Gilmore put it best when he said, "Go to your Happy Place." I need to find my own version of Walden Pond. Any suggestions?
On the way to the mountains last weekend I watched Dead Poets Society for the first time since junior high. Back then, I recall it leaving a powerful impression, but surprisingly didn’t feel the same watching it this time. It does have some great quotes though, and I captured some here. . .
from John Keating (Robin Williams)
“There is a time for daring and there is a time for caution, and a wise man knows the difference.”
“Sucking the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone.”
“We are food for worms, boys.”
“Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.”
“This is a battle, a war, and the casualties could be your hearts and souls.”
“You will learn to think for yourselves again. You will learn to savor words and language. Words and ideas can change the world.”
“The human race is filled with passion. Romance, beauty, love, this is what we live for.”
“. . .that you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”
“Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way. We must constantly look at things in a different way.”
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
“You must struggle to find your own voice. The longer you wait, the less likely you are to ever find it.”
I passed, I passed!!
I passed the Statistics midterm! Not only that, I got a B! I know it won't be that high once the curve comes out, but I am totally pleased. If I would stop being such a putz slacker, I could probably get really good grades. Maybe another day.
Now, I sleep.
Daylight exploded like a supernova before her -
starfire,
a blinding arrival at life
from a far away prison
where time stood still
and love was always beyond her grasp.
She pulled her memory from a great trunk,
shook the dust from it,
and closed the chest.
She wrapped herself inside it,
taking in its familiar scent.
A few random quotes:
"There is no greater joy than the joy of the heart." - Solomon
"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do." - Mother Theresa
"No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever." - Francois Mauriac
"Networking is both an art and a science" - Career Services
"So I sat down on the East, where things begin." - Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
"This feather may look worthless, but it comes from afar and carries with it all my good intentions." - Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
"Parents creating slippery kids" - Carolyn
"I was a consultant. You get paid in miles." - Mike, on having one million frequent flyer miles.
"Take a ratio of two random numbers" - M. R-K
"I was praying to the gods of partial credit" - Eric
"Help me, help you." - C. Maglaras
"I'm not going to be grading for style" - C. Maglaras on the Stats Midterm
“To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.”
“Built for the students that religion and learning go hand in hand and character grow with knowledge.” - Etched above the door to Earl Hall
"The truest question to ask one's self is whether you feel that life is passing you by." - me.
My tuition dollars produce amazing lessons. Today I learned:
1. That you're never supposed to eat oysters in months that don't end in R.
2. That the Italian alphabet has only 21 letters.
This I did not know.
Streaks. My life runs in streaks.
Counter to the bullshit that had built up yesterday, at the last minute a client at work rescheduled for next week allowing me to go home at 3:00 today, the earliest I've been home in a month. That good fortune was followed by going home, putting on blue jeans and finding enough cash in the pocket to be able to do the laundry! While the laundry was drying at the laundromat I had time enough to run home and vacuum, take out the trash, etc. (All those things that can build up such that you're living in a disaster area.)
Then I sat down to check email and study for tomorrow's Stats midterm, at which time I opened an email from a classmate containing a study guide of all the formulas we'll need for the test tomorrow. God bless him.
And now, for the first time since I can't remember when, I am going to sleep. For eight full hours. I pray the hurricane peters out before hitting the harbor.
Sweet dreams.
Just when I thought I was free of the gloom. . .
Among other things:
1. I was almost evicted this week
2. My toilet exploded leaving a disaster in my apartment
3. I went to every class completely unprepared, haven't handed in five assignments, and midterms start Friday
5. A project at work that was assigned to six people was reassigned to me
6. The laundry has piled up and I have nearly no clean clothes left
7. I ran out of money today (so the laundry will have to wait until payday next Friday)
and last but not at all least. . .
8. I just left a packed bar - a gathering that I hosted - to connect single people from my two schools, where I found out the only guy that I was interested in out of the 50 there is GAY. So I left. Alone. And walked home, only to be told by a random guy on the street that I am fat.
If ever there were a time to end life, this feels like it would be a good one.
Don't be surprised if I drop out of school, join the Peace Corps, take off to a foreign country, change my name and never return.
Here's a random collection of quotes I've collected over the past four weeks.
(Hopefully this doesn't break any kind of copyright laws.)
“It’ll work if everyone comes to the table with a skill to contribute.” – M. Feiner
“Window jumping meetings” – M. Feiner
“A team is not always necessary” – M. Feiner
“This one time, at Math Camp. . .”
“Pedantic, quadratic, derivative” – C. Maglaras
“No one wants to admit they don’t think for themselves” – R. Horton on blind followers
“Profit margins don’t matter” – A. Citanna (followed by a huge gasp from his Micro class)
“Was Clip helping you out?” – Ariel M. to Dave H. on creating Iterations
“It’ll make a lot more sense if you try to do it logically” – M. Rhodes-Kropf on Pro Forma Financial Statements
“What’s the morality of silence?” – R. Horton on Ethics
“Throw down your musket and run.” – R. Horton on Standing in the face of adversity
“Anybody can hire an undergrad” – R. Horton on the value of an MBA
“The goal is to struggle” – R. Horton on ensuring none of us are the next Clifford Baxter
“Stick with it. We will all get it. I promise” – M. Rhodes-Kropf on Understanding Finance.
“When they start “why”ing you, that’s when you learn the edge of your own knowledge” – M. Rhodes-Kropf on the Wisdom of Toddlers
“Does it have to hurt in order to make a difference?” – R. Horton on Corporate Responsibility
“Who am I to make decisions for you?” – P. Azoulay
“Wow. I am learning so much today” – Overheard in a bathroom at the Law School
“This isn’t real Math. It’s quasi-math.” – Ira (aka Professor Weiss) on Accounting
“Don’t be dull.” – Someone at Orientation
“n’Kay?” - Safwan
“Your sense of entitlement will grow exponentially. Guard against it” – Safwan and Dean Feldberg
“Don’t be that guy. He’s in every one of us.” - Safwan
“Honor your commitments” – Someone at Orientation
“Learn where to put your effort” – Someone at Orientation
“At the end of the day” – Perhaps the most overused phrase at CBS
“Business is a team sport.” – M. Feiner
“The last thing to cool was a ray of sunlight, a diamond” – C. Schorer quoting Acres of Diamonds
“glocal” – Someone at Orientation
“Grow the currency of your degree” – Dean Feldberg
“Selective negligence” – Someone at Orientation
“Sallie Mae is now a really expensive girlfriend” – An alum on school loans.
“Get out of your comfort zone, be an active, engaged member of this community” – Everyone at Orientation
“I will not return from this the same as I began” – An anonymous wide-eyed first year MBA.
“Unremitting” – Dean Feldberg on the Culture of CBS
“6 continents, 64 countries, 50 languages, on 34 acres, with 125 faculty and 35 adjuncts” – L. Meehan on the staggering statistics of our “Quintessentialness” (ala Dean Feldberg)
“Is it ignorance, or is it malice?” – R. Horton on Cultural Sensitivity.
“Draw a beade” – R. Horton using another hunting analogy
“Any presentation is about sales” – Communication consultant
“Patience and tolerance to go back and dig deeper” – M. Rhodes-Kropf on Re-reading Case Studies for the 800th time.
“In New York, first plans never work.” – Lynne Sagalyn
“Market reversals (cycles) complicate risk” – L. Sagalyn on Real Estate
“Intense and fractious development politics” – L. Sagalyn on the Realities of Real Estate Developing
“Quality and depth of professionals make this a tough town” – L. Sagalyn on Competition
“Large scale projects are political suicide” – L. Sagalyn
“Read the politics of an event or you’re missing something” – L. Sagalyn on Reality
“Do what you love. The rest will follow.” – Safwan
“Go get a customer first” – C. Schorer on Investing in new ideas
“Real teams are their own reward” – M. Feiner on Teams
“Top floor performance” – M. Feiner on Leadership
“Einstein said, ‘It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression.’” – Someone at Orientation
“Businesses that have become stale have lost their battle with the learning curve” – P. Azoulay on Strategy
“Prioritize your time. Navigate feeling pressed.” – Someone at Orientation
“Team leadership can be dynamic” – M. Feiner on leadership
“You don’t want your first call to be ‘Can you help me?’” – Wisdom from Career Services
“Name tags in the woods. It sounds like a business school horror movie.” – Kameron to another Social Enterpriser at Horton’s Retreat
“Sense the festering problems as they’re building” – A faculty member on learning the lay of the land and working in groups
“Find a way to organize and keep track of this.” – A word of advice from Career Services
“We sense who the drivers are” – M. Rhodes-Kropf
“Test your ideas, admit your failures” – C. Schorer on Becoming a Successful Entrepreneur
“We’re bringing new meaning to dysfunctionality” – A faculty member during a brainstorming session with 1st years
Top 12 Insights overheard, Fall 2003
Business is an art.
Spend imagination, not money.
Discipline. It’s all about discipline.
Grow and refine your intuition.
Create your own destiny.
Understand what isn’t being said.
Nothing takes the place of persistence and resilience.
Nothing happens without enthusiasm. It’s contagious.
Bringing people together requires democracy, respect and sensitivity.
The key to success is understanding humanity.
Intellect without action doesn’t get you anywhere.
Don’t look at what’s next – look just beyond what’s next.
I was talking with a friend late last night and came to an amazing insight on my recent funk. Today, I feel like a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I can't really explain it, but it is fantastic. How can the mind free itself from its own mental torture like that?
There was a rocking chair
at the top of the stair
that saw genius the likes of which
no books had known.
The arms shiny
from a frustrated hand
ideas and solutions
with gaps in between.
Its spindles were infused
with the cherrywood smoke
of many a late night fire.
Pondering poetry –
sweet release from his daily science
a peace that could not be found in the laboratory
buzzing with assistants and onlookers.
The world continues turning,
and time is ever of the essence –
sands that slip away
never to be regained.
“A word about who we are” –
he continues, trailing away.
That word, constantly changing –
a single word, a masquerade
from one moment to the next
true and untrue.
Walking home tonight I passed a psychic/tarot card/palm reader's table on the sidewalk. Just as I walked by she barked at her boyfriend who was walking away the other direction, "Hey! Where you goin'?"
It struck me so funny I had a sudden outburst. I didn't turn around to look, but I'm sure she was glaring at me.
Today I got coco & papaya bath crystals from some friends in Hawaii. How cool is that? I love my friends.
Word on the street is that a lot of people have already dropped out of the B-school. (It's the fourth week, and so far I am not one of them. - Hangin' tough.) Professors are sending out emails acknowledging the stress levels and telling the students to chill, that this is just boot camp and things will settle down.
They wanted to admit 480 students this year, but 521 accepted an enrollment offer, so I think some extra pressure has been put on our class in order to thin out the herd a little. Harsh, eh?
I'm starting to think that email levels can now be used as proxies in a stress indicator. There were 4 emails in my Inbox at 9:30 this morning. Right now there are 83 on my Columbia account and 13 on Yahoo. 96 emails in 12 hours. . . How is that possible?!
I just saw a vehicle that beats the Pontiac Aztec in the category of "Who-the-hell-designed-that?!?" . . . (drum roll) The Honda Element.
tee hee hee. What were they thinking?
Did you vote today? If not, your right to bitch should be taken away and you should be shot at sunrise.
Democracy only works if you do.
Polls are open until 9pm, I encourage you to take responsibility. Go now.
R.I.P. Warren Zevon. Thanks for sharing your music with us.
I was so intrigued by Adam's interview idea, that I asked to join the bandwagon. There is nothing superfluous about my responses to the questions he posed, but I think they say exactly what I want them to.
What would you like your epitaph to be?
Seek Peace. Seek Wisdom. Live Love.
You can interview one deceased person and ask them one question. Who and what would you ask?
Aristotle – Why?
What happens after we die?
The world keeps turning, and life goes on.
What is your favorite memory of childhood?
One of my favorites is getting in the car after leaving someone’s house or a family gathering and having my mom tell me how proud she was of how well I behaved. I remember her doing that on several occasions, and it left a lasting impression on me.
If you wrote your autobiography, what would the title be?
Savoring the Journey
Today, I had a rather disturbing encounter.
I was walking down the sidewalk and this guy came up and said, “Beautiful day, isn’t it?” Obviously, that in itself isn’t strange, but he was too close for a person that came out of nowhere.
I kind of smiled and kept walking, but he changed his pace so he was walking along side me. Then he says, “I’ve seen you around here many times.”
That caught me off guard. “Really?” I replied kind of stunned.
It’s disconcerting to think there has been some guy watching you that you haven’t seen before or noticed watching. It’s not like this was a person my age either. My guess is he was about early 50s and judging from the accent, from one of the Baltic states or Russia.
“Yes,” he says, “I see you a lot. I’m Nick. What’s your name?”
“I’m Amanda,” I said hesitating, debating whether I should give him my real name.
So then he asks me if I work around there and proceeds to tell me all about where he lives, and how he’s a doorman several blocks away. Then he asks for my business card and my phone number.
I told him I was flattered, but not interested. Thankfully, at that point he said he was stopping for coffee before work, so I told him to enjoy the afternoon and quickly turned down the block.
The whole thing kinda freeked me out.
I’m so used to being one of the non-descript people that no one notices, that when someone does I’m always taken aback. Usually, nobody remembers my name, but that hasn’t been the case lately and I can’t figure out why. I’m kinda worried that maybe I’m acting obnoxious or flamboyant and that’s why I’m sticking in people’s heads. When you’re used to being a fly on the wall, having people recognize and remember you feels like taking center stage with broccoli stuck in your teeth.
Today I got up at 6:45am and was still late to my 11:00am meeting. How is that possible? This must stop.
For quite a while I was so punctual. What happened?
Remember how I said I blew my interview the other day? Well, today I got the nicest FO (Fuck Off) letter I think I've ever gotten. I'm not sure why I find that comforting, but today I do.
May I just take a moment to share with you excerpts of what a classmate of mine had the audacity to put in the school newspaper? I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than wind up a partner to this kind of frat-boy-jerkoff.
Speaking on behalf of his male classmates, a fellow student had this message for us, his female counterparts:
[All we want is] "different, interesting and exotic sex with many, frankly, anonymous partners.
. . . so we’ve made it our mission to transform ourselves . . . into $150-500,000-a-year player-pimps.
It’s fine to have a girlfriend in b-school, but drop her like day-old bread when you graduate.
Leverage your success and means to win more, younger and better looking women. Upgrade your wardrobe, hire a trainer, summer in the Hamptons, buy the beemer.
We men eventually and willingly get married, not because of love, but because it makes sense for us at that juncture. [...] After we’ve mostly completed our bachelorhood checklist (the rest TBD on “business trips”) and feel the desire to be a father, we begin looking for a fertile womb to help us achieve this goal. In doing so we will undoubtedly tell you what you want to hear – stuff like, 'I love you,' 'You complete me,' and 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' You won’t be able to tell we’re lying either because we are experts – been doing it for years trying to get laid.
So I guess what I’m saying is that you should look for a man who has sowed his oats and looks as though he has nothing left in him. This is a man who is ready to marry and can stomach monogamy and the dramatically reduced sexual parameters it implies. Give him plenty of whiskey, the remote control and the physical act of “love” every day because without it he will arise from his stupor and begin hunting. (HINT: He can’t hunt without bullets.)
You’ve heard marriage takes a lot of work – it does, especially if you have a husband faced daily with the temptation of twenty-something secretaries from Jersey.
In conclusion, I think you’re all wonderful and special. . ."
I wonder if the first order of business of the school's Women's Organization will be to rip his arms off and beat him with them.
I need a hug.
Today was the most frustrating day. I don't know if I can do this; I don't know what I'm doing here. I feel like I don't belong anywhere or have any kind of appreciable skill in anything. I've been all over (okay, not all over, but lots of places) and don't quite fit any place.
I blew a second MAJOR opportunity today in the job dept and classes have me completely wigged out already. I want to learn this stuff, but not like this.
How come I can never get my shit together?
I'm way behind in posting the quips I've collected over the past few weeks. I spent most of the weekend listening to Mario Fangoulis and trying to clean through my stacks and stacks of paper, although I admit I didn't get far. I did, however, buy groceries for the first time in two months.
Here are a few quotes that have been gathering dust. . .
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin
"Friendship is genuine when two friends can enjoy each other's company without speaking a word to one another." - George Ebers
"Friendships that have stood the test of time and change are surely best." - Joseph Parry
"When shall we live, if not now?" - Seneca the Younger
Yesterday was the first anniversary of my residence in NYC, so some friends and I went to a little Japanese restaurant to celebrate. At the same time I feel like I just got here and that I've been here forever. It's odd.
A friend and I have begun researching the apartment market here in Manhattan looking for something less scuzzy than where we live now, yet affordable (a hideously relative word in NYC). So I was looking at places via the net tonight through an agency that I know is reputable.
The first apartment I clicked on was actually a three bedroom, but I thought I'd take a look just out of curiosity. Curiosity kills!
It was listed for sale at $7.5 MILLION dollars. Not only that, the MONTHLY tax and building maintenance fee is almost $7700. Yes, $7700. (There is no punctuation missing.)
Sweet jesus.
Either that is going to be an anomaly, or we're going to have to recruit roommates by the dozens and live like the Mexican pickle harvesters.
A beautiful little piece - like a gemstone - I found today. The Scent of Green Papaya. It reminded me of a penpal I used to have a long time ago and made me wonder what she's doing now. It is sad how easily we fall out of touch.
The film also made me realize that I've neglected my love of Asian art and literature for a long time. The music, the architecture, everything - I can't explain why I'm drawn to it, but I find it captivating. There is something very quiet, very spiritual and inward about the arts of Asiatic regions - cultures and traditions that date back thousands of years, but are absolutely timeless.