I just spent the last six hours in the airport, only to return home without having gone anywhere. Argh. It made me realize just how many hours of my life I've spent in airports this year.

Why can't air travel be cheap here like it is in Europe? (I'm going to look into that for a paper at the B-school I think.)

Vijay is soooo right about the bewildering airport culture thing.

Yesterday I learned that Anais Nin lived only 15 blocks from here. How awesome.

I think that's one of the greatest things about this city - amazing people are everywhere, just going about their daily lives. Probably the biggest misconception about New York, and the U.S. in general I dare say, is our lives here are glitter and red carpets all the time. The bankers never lose money, the writers effortlessly turn out best sellers, the singers' voices never crack, and the dancers' legs are never tired, etc., etc.

The reality is The City That Never Sleeps has its bad hair days just like everywhere else. Even celebrities don jogging pants and baseball caps, order pizza and lament over the state of their lives.

"Do what you can with what you have where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt

Your eyes tell me things your words don’t.

Your heart tells you things your mind doesn’t hear.

You thought that love would explode like a million starfires,

champagne comets in the sky.

Instead, love is quiet,

and infinite as the sands that cradle the oceans.

My heart’s been broken by you
a hundred times,

maybe more.

It knows the pain
of crying yourself to sleep

and waking up alone
and cold.

When I was a girl
many pages knew the doodle of your name,

the timid admiration of your wit,
the envy of the beautiful girls.

I used to wish
that one day you would see me

and be struck by an odd sense of wonderment
at how you couldn’t see me before

Or leave your friends one night
in a crowded bar

and wish that I were there to comfort you
and erase the frustrations of the day.

The Enormity of the Sadness

The people of this nation
are bonded not by blood
or religion,

Not by language,
or race

But by an idea,
a solemn belief in freedom

The liberty of every human being.

It is not perfect,
but it is still young

Like a boy in the schoolyard,
inexperienced

Absent hundreds of years experience,
sometimes brazen

Arrogantly complaining of dry bread
when the child beside him has none

Sometimes sullen,
weeping at the loss of his own innocence

Yet pure at heart
and well-intentioned

The freckles on his face
no less quaint than those
of the worldly people to which he belongs

For each of us owe our prosperity,
however feeble or great,
to the blood of another in a foreign land

who braved death
to choose freedom
over circumstance.

He n’er cut them high nor low, but with exquisite intentionality.

Through his lens I saw

Rocks beneath feet that burned from traversing far
captured in pristine tranquility
as if they would rise at any moment
straightening creaking backs
giving life to beings larger than man.

A quiet wisdom beyond mortals,
gathered not by incessant speech
but etched into a universal mind
from hundreds of years listening.

He was stomping on that fine line
the thin thread that
holds us to reality
to sanity

He said,
I know I’m on the brink of something here
poised precariously
atop a jagged summit
balancing against a gusty wind.

With eyes closed
I know the sound of your voice
the scent of your skin
the feel of your hand in mine

With eyes closed
you are here
with me again

the sun

rising

red

is reflected in the windows
of towering housing projects

while across the river

unreachable

glistens the Camelot of corporatism

Little known fact: There are palm trees in Ireland.

New realization: Liberty and Justice are both women.

Bizarre discovery: I like brussel sprouts.

Who knew? Lucius Versus was the weak twin of Marcus Aurelius and co-emperor of Rome.

I miss folding warm laundry on the living room floor,
the scent of bread baking,
and sitting on the patio watching over the grill as steaks sizzle.

“For we fight not for glory, nor riches, nor honours, but for freedom alone, which no good man gives up except with his life.” – from the Scottish National Museum (William Wallace, I assume.)

“I write for myself and strangers.” – Gertrude Stein

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is ‘love’.” – Sophocles

“Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius

“not the outside – the aesthetics, I wanted to capture the insides.” – M. Ladd

“It’s not finished – it will never be finished. You make room and move things around.” – M. Ladd

“You need to find your space inside the music.” – Vijay Iyer

“We all grow gills in time.” – M. Ladd

“You’re like a Phoenix” – pmb

"Does someone have to die in order for the rest of us to value life more?“ Meryl Streep, “The Hours”

"But I still have to face the hours, don’t I?" – Ed Harris, “The Hours”

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life." – Virginia Woolfe

"I don’t remember where I came from." – Angelica

This castle is absolutely magnificent, a place where time stands still. It is as though a bit of heaven fell down and nestled itself in the rolling greenery of the English countryside. I have never seen a sky so magnificent every day – constantly changing, constantly amazing.

For the first two weeks, I worked on a massive research paper and a few other small final papers 24-7. It sapped my creativity, leaving little else written during my time in Europe. The upside was this conservatory became my studio.

The sun rose at 3:30am and set at 10:30pm. . .

Here, dusk settles into night with the slow parade of chalky clouds against the sky.

“I wish people would stop sculpting me naked” – Michael
“They made shot glasses a lot bigger then” – Siff
“God, can you imagine playing quarters with those?” – Michael
“Is anyone else’s butt sweating?” – Kent
“I’ve seen bigger” – Spencer
“Unfortunately, you can’t have Paris without France” – Kent
“I’d never tell anybody they looked like a Who” – Tim
“Interesting.” – Wayne
“Cause I’m King of the Pimps” – Professor Dion
"...kinda shady..." - Cyle
“...ejaculation...” – Lord Williams of Mostyn, Parliament’s House of Lords
“Dream like you’ll live forever, live like you’ll die today.” – spread by Kalie
"I wanna live in a big old castle and complain about it being drafty." - me.

There are post-it notes and random hunks of paper everywhere. That tells me that I haven't posted in ages. So, today during my law class I started typing up some of the stuff I've collected over the past month. Unfortunately, the ports are turned off in our classroom, so I can't post during class. However, I did put up the first of many miscellaneous chunks that will follow.

“Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are indefinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” – Oscar Wilde

“Where there is love, there is life.” – Ghandi

“Joy may you have, and gentle hearts content.” – Edmund Spenser

“Live the life you’ve imagined!” – Thoreau

“There is no delight in owning anything unshared.” – Seneca the Younger

“Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.” – Sydney Smith

“Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.” – Alexander Smith

“Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” – George Bernard Shaw

“If there were dreams to sell, what would you buy?” – Thomas Lovell Beddoes

“I like laughter that opens the lips and the heart...” – Victor Hugo

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin

“Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love.” – Adela Rogers St. Johns

My sister says I look like a giraffe. I ask myself, "Is this true?"

Yea, to cover, she followed it up with, "But giraffes are so cute... a little awkward and geeky looking, but still cute."

Uh, that doesn't help.

It was 100 degrees today. I bought a wool sweater at a street bazaar. Got a good deal on it.

After only five days, (in 100 degree heat, an 11' x 18' apartment with countless roaches, and subways that smell like @#$% mind you) my sister has fallen in love with this city.

Snaps for Ivy!

This is post number 301 for Savoring. It feels like a bit of a milestone.

Interestingly, I was actually posting to reflect on how I feel like I haven't written in ages. I went to England in part to spend some quiet time writing. Unfortunately, the only real writing I seem to have managed to get done was a brief policy memo and a 75-page research paper. (More on that later.)

Part of the swirl of life right now is probably attributable to having a tangle of words clogged up in my head needing to be released. Eventually I will have enough distance from my European experience to share some of the stories and epiphanies.