Starting Over
Well, B-school boot camp is over.
How did it go, you ask? If it's any indication, during final exam #6 of 6 this morning, the cds I listened to were Rage Against the Machine, Offspring and Sum 41.
This semester kicked my ass. I put forth such a shitty effort that I am honestly ashamed. And it's not because of partying too much (I think I've only gone out four times since school started.) But I have, somehow, managed to fuck up all but one of my classes.
How have I gotten so lost, so unhappy and so far in debt? I kept telling myself that everything was okay and that I would get it together. But on top of destroying my own academic career, I've also managed to get myself into enormous credit card debt, the likes of which I have no idea how I'm going to pay off even if Santa does bring me a miracle for Christmas.
I think one of the worst possible feelings in the world is not being able to trust yourself, letting yourself down. I've made so many bullshit excuses to myself that it's an absolute joke. I am officially the laziest person I know.
With a complete feeling of exhaustion, all I can think of is getting on that plane tomorrow morning, clearing my head for a week at home and coming back to a new year, my new apartment and a fresh semester.
Posted by Amanda at December 17, 2003 03:14 PM
