. . . so we’ve made it our mission to transform ourselves . . . into $150-500,000-a-year player-pimps.

It’s fine to have a girlfriend in b-school, but drop her like day-old bread when you graduate.

Leverage your success and means to win more, younger and better looking women. Upgrade your wardrobe, hire a trainer, summer in the Hamptons, buy the beemer.

We men eventually and willingly get married, not because of love, but because it makes sense for us at that juncture. [...] After we’ve mostly completed our bachelorhood checklist (the rest TBD on “business trips”) and feel the desire to be a father, we begin looking for a fertile womb to help us achieve this goal. In doing so we will undoubtedly tell you what you want to hear – stuff like, 'I love you,' 'You complete me,' and 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' You won’t be able to tell we’re lying either because we are experts – been doing it for years trying to get laid.

So I guess what I’m saying is that you should look for a man who has sowed his oats and looks as though he has nothing left in him. This is a man who is ready to marry and can stomach monogamy and the dramatically reduced sexual parameters it implies. Give him plenty of whiskey, the remote control and the physical act of “love” every day because without it he will arise from his stupor and begin hunting. (HINT: He can’t hunt without bullets.)

You’ve heard marriage takes a lot of work – it does, especially if you have a husband faced daily with the temptation of twenty-something secretaries from Jersey.