The Nature of My Fear
What am I afraid of? you asked. . .
Everything. And nothing.
The depth of my feelings for you,
the thought of never being with you.
I am afraid of pushing you away,
of talking you into something you don’t believe in,
of you never realizing how beautiful we could be.
I am afraid of being honest
for fear of getting annihilated,
being crushed.
I am afraid that heavy is bad in your eyes
that it’s something you don’t want to deal with,
that foreign women are easier, not heavy.
I fear I will never find the courage
to face the fears that clog my mind,
cloud my vision, hold me back.
I am afraid of never belonging,
forgetting where I came from,
losing who I am again.
I am afraid of never living up to my full potential,
afraid of testing my own abilities and failing miserably,
reaching the end and regretting things undone or unsaid.
And I am afraid of game metaphors,
because our lives are not a game.
Not at all.
Posted by Amanda at August 16, 2003 02:12 PM
